The Answer Lies in You (Me)

excerpted from this article (see link):

* * * * *

The following words were written on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop in the Crypts of Westminster Abbey:

“When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world.

“As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it, too, seemed immovable. 

“As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it.

“And now as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If I had only changed my self first, then by example I would have changed my family.  From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country and, who knows, I may have even changed the world.” 

* * * * *

Most of the things that we do is only focused upon feeding our egos because we think that will complete us without realizing that we ourselves is a complete entity and what we must do is to improve ourselves and that doesn’t mean getting signature clothing or owning fancy cars. Of course fancy cars can make a difference in convenience but where it goes wrong is when we are lead to think that we are not worth anything without them. It starts when we have no proper foundations to trust ourselves therefore we switch to materialism. We have to remember that no amount of wealth and jewelries can define a person although we cant deny that we do need some material things for survival like food, shelter and decent fallback wealth to be able to sustain our needs upon retirement or calamity; it is definitely not the same with materialism and it is not easy considering that most of us are exposed to billboards and programs that are designed to make us loose our self esteem if we don’t have what they have to offer. This mentality is what makes most of us unhappy making this world mostly unhappy.

* * * * *

So my friend this is what I will leave you with a declaration written by Virginia Satir in response to a 15-year-old girl’s question, “How can I prepare myself for a fulfilling life?” 

“I am me.  In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. There are people who have some parts like me but no one adds up exactly like me. Therefore, everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone choose it.

“I own everything about me—my body, including everything it does; my mind, including all my thoughts and ideas; my eyes, including the images of all they behold; my feelings, whatever they might be—anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement; my mouth and all the words that come out of it—polite, sweet and rough, correct or incorrect; my voice, loud and soft; all my actions, whether they be to others or myself.

“I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.

“I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

“Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts. I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.

“I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know. But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for the solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me.

“However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is me. This is authentic and represents where I am at that moment in time.

“When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did, and how I thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting. I can discard that which is unfitting and keep that which proved fitting, and invent something new for that which I discarded.

“I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.

“I own me and therefore I can engineer me.

“I am me and I am okay.”



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