Reframing Commitment

from here

Her frame (which she’s hoovered straight up from pop culture) says that commitment is good and mature, and non-commitment is immature and a result of “a fear of commitment”.

Your frame says the opposite: that non-commitment is good and mature in its recognition of how reality works, and commitment is immature in its denial of the facts of life, and actually a result of a fear of loss – the immature person is scared of losing the special relationship he has so he tries to cling to it through unrealistic promises, which is what children do (“honey, mommy has to go to work soon, so we can only play for a little while” – “no! promise you’ll play with me all day! promise!”).


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