An Anti-Game Argument

a comment to a blog

The whole foundation for this f*%k-it hedonism in the manosphere is the notion that you will probably get screwed over in a tragic marriage and lose the kids. Yes, that is possible. But there are several huge things that are being ignored. This paranoia over the possibility of divorce in the manosphere is totally uninformed and certainly not manly at all.

(1) If you are college educated, older than about 23 and white or asian your chances of divorce are not 40% (which is the approximate rate for first marriages). Your chances of divorce are much lower. If you both share (and regularly practice) a common faith and are not promiscuious before marriage, and if you are a decent breadwinner, better still. Taken together, these factors can give you divorce odds of more like 10%-15%, which is really not bad.

(2) Divorce is survivable. Most men who go through that (and they are a much less than half) will find love and happiness again. And even if you are among that minority, you will probably get to share custody of the kids unless you used to beat them. Joint custody is the norm in most places these days.

(3) Most things worth having are hard. That goes triple for the most wonderful things of all, a great marriage and a rich family life. It is lame and pathetic to run away from a challenge, especially one where the payoff is large and the odds of success are pretty good.

(4) If you flee marriage you will be swimming in a world of low quality or low class women. I suspect that PUAs have a bad perspective because by focusing on the kind of women that hang out in bars or respond to ‘game’ or are ‘easy’, are selecting women that are more likely to be unfaithful and divorce. Good women know that they are good and hold out for commitment.

(5) If you want to really live life, you’ve gotta lay it out there a little bit. You’ll never experience true love unless your heart is naked and sincere. Most women are not monsters. If you do lay your heart out there on the chopping block, she will probably take good care of it. That feels amazing. If you are only half in the marriage out of fear, she will hold back too.

(6) If you really don’t want to get divorced it is unlikely to happen. The number one predictor of whether a couple will get divorced is the answer to the question: “Do you believe in divorce?” If two people answer ‘no’ at the start, then divorce is simply not likely later. Two people can simply emphasize commitment beforehand, vastly improving the odds.

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