Reading v. Action

Bingo — this is why some of us dwell in theory, before we can take action.

Introverts are a different breed. Congruence is extremely important to them. They need their outward behavior to conform to their inner identity. This requires a sophisticated inner identity to match the dynamic social behaviors required for success.

For introverts, it’s important to go into social interactions with a plan and identity already in place, both to direct the interaction and to process it afterwards. The interaction alone is not enough to drive progress. Therefore, trying to progress purely by collecting social reference experiences will prove draining to the point of counterproductivity, and may lead the introvert to reject pickup out of frustration, exhaustion and depression.

Why PUA gurus can’t teach introverts

This is the biggest problem with PUA, and it’s the reason so many PUA gurus berate students to “take action,” and vilify those who don’t. They are basically telling the introverts to become extroverts.

Extroverts are easy for gurus to teach in boot camps. Just throw them in set, show them how to do it, and they’re off.

Introverts are far harder – they need to understand why, before they start doing. They operate from the inner to the outer, instead of from the outer to the inner. Their progress can be excruciatingly slow if the correct teaching method is not applied. But once they grok fully, they can leave extroverts in the dust.

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